Friday, October 24, 2008
The depressed sketchbook
So you know how when you're not feeling so great, you dress in sweatpants and huge sweaters? Well... I do, anyway. Actually I used to just dress like a bum all the time until I conformed.
Anyway, for me, it is the same with sketchbooks. I purposely chose a sketchbook that I loathed to draw in because I have not been in high spirits lately. It's getting to the point I actually go a whole day without drawing and I don't even notice until it's time to sleep.
The likeness is pretty off but I thought I MUST do something before the day is over, so I pulled out some old gouache set and a bottle of craft acrylic in which the contents have separated.
And then the standard subway sketches. The paper is dark and hard to draw on.
Ok, and for the people I am always telling that I am "cleaning" my house, here is a horrid peek at why:
My father and I are both hoarders. He collects all manners of useless trinkets, such as ugly glass animals, extra bicycle wheels, broken luggage, random prints, furniture, fake flowers, newspapers, empty cans, giftwrapping paper dowels, etc.
My junk you can see spread all over the sofa - that is my habit of collecting printed material, specifically images. In the cardboard boxes is some more. This pile here is actually what I intended to KEEP after sifting through about 20 times as much of paper - but I don't think I'll have room for it. And I have probably ... like 6 more milk-carton's worth of papers to go through. It's actually a GREAT improvement upon what I had. Slowly I am letting go.
Compulsive hoarding is no joke. It's a real problem that afflicts many people, and it induces a lot of stress, shame, and time-wasting. I'm trying to fix it...but it's damn hard. It is both painful to keep stuff and painful to throw it away.
Anyway, for me, it is the same with sketchbooks. I purposely chose a sketchbook that I loathed to draw in because I have not been in high spirits lately. It's getting to the point I actually go a whole day without drawing and I don't even notice until it's time to sleep.
The likeness is pretty off but I thought I MUST do something before the day is over, so I pulled out some old gouache set and a bottle of craft acrylic in which the contents have separated.
And then the standard subway sketches. The paper is dark and hard to draw on.
Ok, and for the people I am always telling that I am "cleaning" my house, here is a horrid peek at why:
My father and I are both hoarders. He collects all manners of useless trinkets, such as ugly glass animals, extra bicycle wheels, broken luggage, random prints, furniture, fake flowers, newspapers, empty cans, giftwrapping paper dowels, etc.
My junk you can see spread all over the sofa - that is my habit of collecting printed material, specifically images. In the cardboard boxes is some more. This pile here is actually what I intended to KEEP after sifting through about 20 times as much of paper - but I don't think I'll have room for it. And I have probably ... like 6 more milk-carton's worth of papers to go through. It's actually a GREAT improvement upon what I had. Slowly I am letting go.
Compulsive hoarding is no joke. It's a real problem that afflicts many people, and it induces a lot of stress, shame, and time-wasting. I'm trying to fix it...but it's damn hard. It is both painful to keep stuff and painful to throw it away.
# posted by M @ 7:32 PM 
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Hey Margaret. You still have some lovely stuff, so you haven't lost the fan in me yet! Also you recommended me those James Jean pens (SKB) and I've been putting those bad boys to good use. My sister bought me a cheap acrylics paint set at the Christmas tree shop in White Plains and I was thinking of cranking them out in my moleskin sketchbook.
Hey, I have the same problem when it comes to throwing things away. My mother does too. She's even worse. We've had things sit on the floor so long we end up finding worms making homes in them, rofl. So you see, I have you beat in the hoarding department.
And hey, I really hope you feel better babe. I sometimes get sad and I don't feel motivated to draw, and then once I start again I get so lost in it, and the feeling of getting a good sketch down is pretty powerful. Just keep making them beautiful drawings!
Hey, I have the same problem when it comes to throwing things away. My mother does too. She's even worse. We've had things sit on the floor so long we end up finding worms making homes in them, rofl. So you see, I have you beat in the hoarding department.
And hey, I really hope you feel better babe. I sometimes get sad and I don't feel motivated to draw, and then once I start again I get so lost in it, and the feeling of getting a good sketch down is pretty powerful. Just keep making them beautiful drawings!
# posted by 
: October 25, 2008 1:26 AM
: October 25, 2008 1:26 AM
I'm so glad you share these, I greatly admire your drawings, they are incredibly beautiful.
you're so talented, we don't know each other but you sound so sad, I wish you well and hope you will get help for your depression
you're so talented, we don't know each other but you sound so sad, I wish you well and hope you will get help for your depression
I really appreciate the kind comments all, it is nice to know that other artists go through the same stuff.
Hi.
I randomly discovered your blog. I quite enjoy your work. I'm in school right now, working towards a degree in visual arts, not sure what area exactly.
I understand what you said about rejection and judging the quality of one's art. That's a tough one, and I see most people have said the types of things I would say to someone in your position. Just keep working! It's a big game, really.
And in regards to the hoarding.... Have you seen this great video?
http://www.vimeo.com/603058
Take care,
B
I randomly discovered your blog. I quite enjoy your work. I'm in school right now, working towards a degree in visual arts, not sure what area exactly.
I understand what you said about rejection and judging the quality of one's art. That's a tough one, and I see most people have said the types of things I would say to someone in your position. Just keep working! It's a big game, really.
And in regards to the hoarding.... Have you seen this great video?
http://www.vimeo.com/603058
Take care,
B
hey M, i love the fluid lines and subtle hatching in your sketches. they remind me of james jean. is that just how your style turned out to be or was that technique
taught in school? Any advice on how to make my drawings looser or how i should approach drawing period?
- I
taught in school? Any advice on how to make my drawings looser or how i should approach drawing period?
- I
# posted by : November 12, 2008 6:58 PM
: November 12, 2008 6:58 PM
Brendan: It's always nice to know I am not alone in struggling.
Thanks for the link! I think I'm at least better off, realizing I have a problem.
I: I don't really know if I should be giving advice on drawing - however my advice would just be to keep doing it.
As for James Jean, he has been and still is quite a hero to me, but I never sought to mimic him consciously. I suppose what we look at the most has a tendency to seep into our work. The way he approaches linework though, is influenced from a teacher named James Mcmullan.
Thanks for the link! I think I'm at least better off, realizing I have a problem.
I: I don't really know if I should be giving advice on drawing - however my advice would just be to keep doing it.
As for James Jean, he has been and still is quite a hero to me, but I never sought to mimic him consciously. I suppose what we look at the most has a tendency to seep into our work. The way he approaches linework though, is influenced from a teacher named James Mcmullan.
Hey!! it was great seeing you at D.W.I today. i really wished i coulda stayed a little longer to chat, i REALLY had to go.
Anyway, your draws are amazing... AS ALWAYS!!!. i really mean it. That portrait you did of yourself is just awesome.
i read a couple of your entries and noticed your falling into something that i was fearing myself. It's a slump and its hard to get over because we don't see our art as interesting anymore. because we draw the same thing over and over.
For the longest time since freshman year of FIT it has been ingrained in me to draw what i see where ever i go. Ever since Donovan told us to go draw 100 faces in a week. at first i was fine with it, because it was a way to work on my rendering, then my pressure control on my hands, then on the speed. Then the problem came when all these things have been jotted down pretty well and its nothing but these things.
i was a walking coping machine. i hated it. cuz i thought anyone can render. i'm not doing anything special from everyone else. and now i'm just drawing from my head instead. its not exact in proportion but who cares! thats what a camera is for. william low told us "its usually the abstract element that makes the art piece interesting". so to make this short and so i'm not rambling like kokinos, just try something different. its taking a breather from what you normally do. because you can do what you normally do anytime you want!!
-yuquan
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Anyway, your draws are amazing... AS ALWAYS!!!. i really mean it. That portrait you did of yourself is just awesome.
i read a couple of your entries and noticed your falling into something that i was fearing myself. It's a slump and its hard to get over because we don't see our art as interesting anymore. because we draw the same thing over and over.
For the longest time since freshman year of FIT it has been ingrained in me to draw what i see where ever i go. Ever since Donovan told us to go draw 100 faces in a week. at first i was fine with it, because it was a way to work on my rendering, then my pressure control on my hands, then on the speed. Then the problem came when all these things have been jotted down pretty well and its nothing but these things.
i was a walking coping machine. i hated it. cuz i thought anyone can render. i'm not doing anything special from everyone else. and now i'm just drawing from my head instead. its not exact in proportion but who cares! thats what a camera is for. william low told us "its usually the abstract element that makes the art piece interesting". so to make this short and so i'm not rambling like kokinos, just try something different. its taking a breather from what you normally do. because you can do what you normally do anytime you want!!
-yuquan
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